Smoke
"What is it with cigarette smoke that always gets into clothes?"
"Well, smoke gets into the air-"
"Yeah, but why does it have to get in my clothes? I mean, why is it that I can be 10 feet away from whoever's smoking, but the smell still gets into my clothes?"
"Well, don't hang around with smokers."
"I wasn't hanging around with them, I was at a bowling alley."
"Ok. I can't wait until you turn 21 and then complain about all the drunks at the bar."
"Shut up."
"No, seriously, why are you freaking surprised? Did you honestly expect that you would go into a bowling alley and not pick up that smokey smell? It's an enclosed area, and one of the few that does not provide for non-smoking sections, and you're honestly shocked that you would smell like smoke?"
"Shut up."
"Now, are you going to complain every time you experience a remotely unpleasant yet entirely forseeable and preventable effect? I mean seriously, this would be helpful so I could brace myself for impact in the future. I have a limited amount of sympathy to dole out, and I don't feel like wasting it."
"Will you shut up!"
"Why, so you can complain some more?"
"That is it, man. I've had it. Get out of my apartment."
"But it's my apartment too."
"Damn it. Well, go to your room."
"Why should I go to my room? You're the one throwing a tantrum, and besides, your clothes stink and you need to change them."
"Well, fine!"
"Thank you for enlightening me. That was as classic as the commentary about how the Will Ferrell movie you saw was stupid and a waste of time. Didn't the presence of Will Ferrell tell you that!"
SLAM
"Ok, fine, be ignorant."
"I'm not ignorant. I'm NAKED."
"Dude, I'm not interested in seeing you naked."
"Then why did you stare at me when I got out of the shower?"
"You had a towel on, and I wasn't staring at you, I was making eye contact. You had the door open and we were having a conversation."
"You were hoping my towel would drop."
"Ok, change you clothes man."
"I took my clothes off, but they're not coming back on."
"Ok, so you're taking a shower?"
"Nope."
"Got a girl in there?"
"Nope."
"Um, got, uh, someone else in there?"
"Nope, just me."
"O . .. k . .. "
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go to bed."
"Dude, if you're gay, there's nothing wrong with that. Tell the other guy he can have some breakfast in the morning if he puts some clothes on first."
"Shut up!"
"Well why did you bother to tell me you're sleeping in the buff?"
"Because you asked, dumbass."
"Well, I guess you have a point there."
"Ha, I win!"
"Oh, God, you . .. 're wearing pants. Ok. Did you do that just to get me to say you had a point?"
"It means you acknowledge that I won the argument. I win. I win. IwinIwinIwinIwin. YOU. LOSE!"
"Well, smoke gets into the air-"
"Yeah, but why does it have to get in my clothes? I mean, why is it that I can be 10 feet away from whoever's smoking, but the smell still gets into my clothes?"
"Well, don't hang around with smokers."
"I wasn't hanging around with them, I was at a bowling alley."
"Ok. I can't wait until you turn 21 and then complain about all the drunks at the bar."
"Shut up."
"No, seriously, why are you freaking surprised? Did you honestly expect that you would go into a bowling alley and not pick up that smokey smell? It's an enclosed area, and one of the few that does not provide for non-smoking sections, and you're honestly shocked that you would smell like smoke?"
"Shut up."
"Now, are you going to complain every time you experience a remotely unpleasant yet entirely forseeable and preventable effect? I mean seriously, this would be helpful so I could brace myself for impact in the future. I have a limited amount of sympathy to dole out, and I don't feel like wasting it."
"Will you shut up!"
"Why, so you can complain some more?"
"That is it, man. I've had it. Get out of my apartment."
"But it's my apartment too."
"Damn it. Well, go to your room."
"Why should I go to my room? You're the one throwing a tantrum, and besides, your clothes stink and you need to change them."
"Well, fine!"
"Thank you for enlightening me. That was as classic as the commentary about how the Will Ferrell movie you saw was stupid and a waste of time. Didn't the presence of Will Ferrell tell you that!"
SLAM
"Ok, fine, be ignorant."
"I'm not ignorant. I'm NAKED."
"Dude, I'm not interested in seeing you naked."
"Then why did you stare at me when I got out of the shower?"
"You had a towel on, and I wasn't staring at you, I was making eye contact. You had the door open and we were having a conversation."
"You were hoping my towel would drop."
"Ok, change you clothes man."
"I took my clothes off, but they're not coming back on."
"Ok, so you're taking a shower?"
"Nope."
"Got a girl in there?"
"Nope."
"Um, got, uh, someone else in there?"
"Nope, just me."
"O . .. k . .. "
"Yeah, I'm just gonna go to bed."
"Dude, if you're gay, there's nothing wrong with that. Tell the other guy he can have some breakfast in the morning if he puts some clothes on first."
"Shut up!"
"Well why did you bother to tell me you're sleeping in the buff?"
"Because you asked, dumbass."
"Well, I guess you have a point there."
"Ha, I win!"
"Oh, God, you . .. 're wearing pants. Ok. Did you do that just to get me to say you had a point?"
"It means you acknowledge that I won the argument. I win. I win. IwinIwinIwinIwin. YOU. LOSE!"
posted by StolenMonkey86 | 10/26/2006 12:31:00 AM
3 Comments:
Is this supposed to be some tribute to "Waiting for Godot?"
Its of the best plays ever written because its fun to laugh at its meaningless arguing.
Fred, I've never seen "Waiting for Godot," but I'll tell you what it's about.
It's an exercise to see what I can write in 20 minutes.
Waiting for Godot's one of the best plays ever written. Its really funny, and much better than anything written by "Shakespeare." Speaking of Shakespeare, he probably hired people to write for him and took credit for it (I forget the name of the guy who probably wrote his stories).
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